The US lost to Belgium in the World Cup last week, and I was sad about it for the rest of the week.

Here's the interesting part though: if we'd lost to France, I wouldn't have felt a thing.

Not because I cared less about the game. 

But because I never would have expected us to beat France.

The outcome would have matched my expectations, so there would have been nothing to be sad about.

I've believed for a long time that every negative emotion comes from a misalignment of expectations.

Anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, all of it. 

You expected one thing to happen, reality delivered a different outcome, and the gap between the two is what you feel to your core.

I learned this as a kid without realizing it.

My school used to run these outdoor trips where your whole class would go stay in cabins in the woods for a few days, the kind of experience every kid looks forward to all year.

The thing is, those trips cost money, and growing up, anything that wasn't free wasn't an option for me and my family.

And not once was never bummed about missing them.

Those trips are for rich kids, and that's not me.

I never expected to go, so missing them never hurt because my expectations were perfectly aligned with reality.

I still operate this way today. 

I’ve been working on growing my presence on X and LI the last few months, and when I project follower growth for my accounts, I don't guess. 

I look at the data. We've grown about 1,000 followers a month for the last two months, so I expect about 1,000 a month going forward. 

I'm not penciling in some viral moment that doubles my followers overnight.

This might sound like a superpower - never disappointed, never delusional, always calibrated.

It's also my biggest weakness.

My dream after graduating college was to make $60,000 a year, so at that time I thought I’d be set if I hit that number.

It never once occurred to me to aim for $60,000 a month or more. 

Realistic people don't reach for the stars, because they’re often too scared of failing to not meet their expectations.

Zach and Blake are the opposite of me. 

Delusionally optimistic about everything, and being around them has taught me to be a little more delusional as well.

There's an old saying: whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right.

Whatever you expect to happen will probably come to fruition.

So here's where I've landed after sitting with both sides of this:

Be radically realistic about everything outside your control. 

Most people are not A-players, and if you expect everyone around you to be extraordinary, you're going to spend your entire life being disappointed.

But be delusionally optimistic about yourself. You're the only variable in the equation you actually control.

Moral of the story: expect nothing extraordinary from the world, and expect the extraordinary from yourself. 

The first keeps you from being blindsided. 

The second keeps you from settling for what your risk averse brain thinks you’re worth.

- Jake